Mindset Traps in Comparison and Social Media
Social media has been a fantastic way to connect with people from anywhere in the world and stay up-to-date with your friends and families lives. However, getting lost in the scroll can be very damaging to our mental health. Social media can be an addiction and I truly believe the majority of people out there are in some ways addicted to social media and/or their phones. Including me, which is something I have been working on, it’s something we have to be aware of and stay on top of everyday.
Social Media and Dopamine
I’m a big fan of Andrew Huberman, he’s a neuroscientist and professor at Stanford, so I’m just going to summarize his points on social media and dopamine as he is a much better expert on this than me. Basically, scrolling through social media triggers repeated spikes of dopamine, similar to slot machines, your brain keeps seeking the new exciting things. Constant dopamine stimulation from social media can lower your baseline dopamine levels over time. That means you might start to feel less motivated, less focused, or even emotionally flat when not stimulated.
He notes that passive consumption (mindless scrolling) is particularly harmful, there’s a difference between liking your friends photos and videos and seeing what they are up to versus scrolling mindlessly watching people you don’t know and then you realize 45 minutes have gone by. That is mindless scrolling. Our brain gets used to this fast reward loop which has a profound effect on our mood and mental health. It makes it harder to focus, complete tasks related to delayed gratification, increases anxiety and mood swings, and so much more.
My Social Media Habits & What’s Helped
On TikTok specifically, because I find it’s the easiest platform to mindlessly scroll, I’ve set a daily limit of 30 minutes using my iPhone settings. Once I hit my limit, a notification pops up, and the app locks. Now, I can override the limit (and yes, I’m guilty of doing this), but it still serves as a helpful reminder to stay on track.
Another habit I’ve formed: after I’ve checked in on what my friends are up to, I try to put my phone down and close the app before I get lost in endless scrolling. It’s a small shift that makes a big difference.
But honestly, the most effective thing I’ve done to spend less time on social media is deleting the apps entirely. I’ve done this a few times with TikTok, because, like I said, it’s the most addictive for me. Most recently, I deleted it for a few weeks and noticed that when I re-downloaded it, I used it way less.
Last year, I took about a week off from all social media apps, and I’m currently doing the same. Taking these breaks helps me reset. When I come back to the apps, I feel more balanced, my anxiety is lower, and I’m much more present in real life. It’s not always easy, especially if you’re used to spending a lot of time online, but it’s worth it.
One small trick that helped me during my breaks: I downloaded a game. I use Wordscapes so that when I feel the urge to open an app, I can redirect that energy into something low-stress and stimulating without being sucked into a scroll spiral.
What You Can Do:
Set boundaries: Use specific apps at specific times of the days. You can set timers for apps like I do.
Rebuild reward circuits: When you feel the urge to scroll, try to do a different activity, a hobby or learning something new.
Dopamine Reset: Take a walk, meditate, journal, or read.
Social Media and Comparison
If you’re on social media in any way, you’ve probably compared yourself to other people. Social media has made it incredibly easy to compare ourselves to millions of people across the world.
This is especially dangerous for young girls. Girls have always compared themselves to others, but now, instead of just comparing to classmates, they’re comparing themselves to millions of girls online. Our brains weren’t designed to know what everyone is doing at all times, in every part of the world. It creates a false sense of not being good enough, not pretty enough, not successful enough, not smart enough.
But comparison affects adults too.
When people post on social media, they’re usually sharing the best parts of their lives: the best angles, filtered faces and bodies, career wins, perfect relationships. Not everyone does this, but a lot of people do, and it’s easy to forget that it’s not the full picture.
Even subconsciously, seeing these highlight reels can make you question your own life. You may start to feel:
Behind
Not successful enough
Not good enough
Judgy toward yourself
Disconnected from your own joy
That’s why taking social media breaks, like deleting apps for a set period, can be so beneficial to your mental health.
What You Can Do:
Curate your feed: Unfollow any accounts that make you feel anxious or that trigger comparison. Instead, follow people who inspire you, make you laugh, or teach you something valuable.
Reframe your mindset: When you catch yourself comparing, pause and ask, “Would I actually want this person’s life?” Sometimes we like the aesthetic of a lifestyle, but when you think deeper, maybe that person works 80+ hours a week, lives in a crowded city, and is constantly on the go. If you value peace, nature, freedom, or flexibility, that life might not actually align with what you want.
And if you do want something similar? Shift the mindset to:
“If I see it, it’s proof that it’s possible for me too.”
Take breaks to reconnect: Whether it’s a day, a weekend, or a full week off social media, it allows you to reconnect with yourself and the real world around you. Walk, journal, paint, talk to someone you love, do something that lights you up.
Practice gratitude: Comparison pulls you into a mindset of lack. Gratitude brings you back to what you already have.
Final Thoughts
Social media isn’t all bad, it can be amazing for learning, connecting, and sharing. But many people spend far too much time on these platforms, and it can lead to:
Anxiety
Mood swings
Lack of motivation
Feeling like we’re not enough
If you don’t feel that way then that’s awesome! But if you do, know you’re not alone. I’ve been there too. When I spend too much time on social media, I definitely feel more anxious, negative, and disconnected.
I hope this helps someone out there break the cycle and start reconnecting with life offline. There’s so much to enjoy around you that has nothing to do with your phone.